1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
22. I remember when panic buying only happened when they would call out...."Last Call!".......at the bars and clubs.
So true,,,,,
- freetown fred
- Member
- Posts: 30300
- Joined: Thu. Dec. 31, 2009 12:33 pm
- Location: Freetown,NY 13803
- Hand Fed Coal Stove: HITZER 50-93
- Coal Size/Type: BLASCHAK Nut
T--still crazy after all these years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- tsb
- Member
- Posts: 2621
- Joined: Wed. Jul. 30, 2008 8:38 pm
- Location: Douglassville, Pa
- Stoker Coal Boiler: Binford 2000
- Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: LL Pioneer top vent
- Hand Fed Coal Stove: Saey Hanover II
- Baseburners & Antiques: Grander Golden Oak , Glenwood # 6
- Coal Size/Type: All of them
23. A surprise is now a fart with a lump in it.
- Hambden Bob
- Member
- Posts: 8549
- Joined: Mon. Jan. 04, 2010 10:54 am
- Location: Hambden Twp. Geauga County,Ohio
- Hot Air Coal Stoker Stove: Harman 1998 Magnum Stoker
- Hand Fed Coal Stove: Blower Model Coal Chubby 1982-Serial#0097
- Coal Size/Type: Rice-A-Roni ! / Nut
- Other Heating: Pro-Pain Forced Air
Theo! OMG! You Sir,Are A "Daymaker"!! I Truly Thank You From Da' Bottom Of My Mercenary Little Ol' Heart!! Carry On!!
-
- Member
- Posts: 1137
- Joined: Fri. Feb. 12, 2016 2:36 pm
- Hand Fed Coal Boiler: Harman SF360
- Hand Fed Coal Stove: T.O.M (Warm Morning converted to baseburner by Steve) Round Oak 1917 Door model O-3, Warm Morning 400, Warm Morning 524, Warm Morning 414,Florence No.77, Warm Morning 523-b
- Hand Fed Coal Furnace: Clayton 7.1/DS Machine basement stove/ Harman SF1500
- Baseburners & Antiques: Renown Parlor stove 87B
- Coal Size/Type: Bituminous/anthracite
- Other Heating: Harman Accentra, enviro omega, Vermont Ironworks Elm stove, Quadrafire Mt Vernon, Logwood stove, Sotz barrel stove,
When my mom was in her 50’s I couldn’t comprehend what all her complaining was about. Now I know.